I have not posted to this blog in a while. I have had many reasons. I have been busy learning life lessons, how to assert myself, How to come from a sheltered cloistered life back into the world of the living, in short, remembering and relearning how to have fun!
I went on a cruise and spent nine days out in the real world. That is all it took.
I learned from new friends how to be me again.
I also met an impossible crush that we won't get into right now, cuz that is fantasy fodder for later posts. Ha ha.
But since my last post I have met the man on my dreams. The only drawback in that dreams only last until we wake up. And sometimes on a rare occasion we can go back into the same damn dream again! I am so hoping that this is the case this time!
I like masculine guys. If you are gonna date a feminine guy, why not just date a girl? This has been a major stumbling block my entire life.
I met the hottest most masculine guy of my dreams hopes and unrequitted ambitions in late July early August. Turns out we have family ties in a tragically laughable way I will not get into. We became fast friends.
He is 30. I look 30 something. For real, no wanna be shit.
He has 3 million seven tatoos. He has a voice as deep as the grand canyon. He has a reputation I have found to be, in my case. unwarranted. I have been told he treats me different than he treats other people and this perplexes quite a lot of people I know.
On a scale of 1 to 10 he is at least a 17.
He is kind, fair, hotter than hell, and is an extremely fun time whether it is staying home on the couch watching movies or going to the casino to lose the million bucks neither of us has but hopes to win.
To say that he completes me is an understatment.
He is comfortable with anyone. Does not give a shit about anyone else's opinion as long as the people concerned are happy. And he treats me like gold.
I am never alone unless either of us is working. Yes, unlike many of my previous loves he has one of those fad things...........the stuff I know won't catch on.............the stuff that most of my loves have never caught on too cuz it is too easy to just want to stay on Mackchilljets couch all day, get stoned and watch cartoon, a JOB.
I mostly think that he would take a bullet for me.
I don't want to rant too long because I don't want the tone of this post to be as whimpering/needy as the tone of my other posts has been.
My life is SOOOOOOOO much better for having met him! And it is totally complete with him in it.
This is only a short term thing because he has prior commmittments and in June at the latest, but possibly by March, I will be posting suicide poetry again, extolling the virtue of high bridges, rusty razor blades, massive amounts of narcotic depressants, and the benefits of taking massive doses of pulls and alcohol while immolating ones self by jumping off some thing called locally by the name ........the Freedom bridge while wrapped in battery operated Christmas lights, I have to tell you all that at this time, for the first time in my life, I am totally, unabashedly, blissfully happy!
Captian Dreadlocks, I cannot put into words how happy you have helped me become and how much better my life is with you in it.
Something that my come close is the movie concept Pleasanville. Everyone lived in Black and White.
You have brought color to my life. For that I thank you.
I know in the future you have to bring color to your own, but I will never forget the utopia I lived in when you were here.
Until that time I will bask in each moment like a lounge lizard in an excellerated tanning booth and will color up to my hearts content.
I love you Captain Dreadlocks for all you do, for all you are, for all you mean, for all you have shown me and that will never change and I only hope that our lives will be intertwined forever.
I love you with every breath I take. I love you every minute of the day. I think about you constantly. And since all this has developed over time. OVERTIME< HA HA IF YOU EVER READ THIS<<<
I have found blissful joy in you! And thank God everyday that you were born.
And now back to our regularly scheduled program.