Monday, May 16, 2005

In the time it takes to read today's topic, even you can

Become a minister. I did. So did my friends. Aggravate the piss out of the God fearing right wing. Become a minister today! Show the world God loves you in any way you feel is appropriate. I imagine that means you can even be a ministerial atheist, if there is such a thing, or make it up if you want to. The Universal Life Church is ready to ordain you, maintain the record of your ordination and generate the nicest printable certificate showing the authenticity of your ordination. I had to go out and buy a frame for my certificate it is that nice. And it is all free. And you only need believe two things to fit in with their dogma.....1) That you promote freedom of religion and that you 2) Do which is right. Nice eh? Over 20 million ordained since 1959, and 400,000 since 1995! Be able to do what ministers do everywhere, (No, not just sleep with altar boys, cavort with bimbos, extoll the virtues of throwing the first stone, collect money from the congregation to air condition your dog's houses or build a biblical amusement park,ha ha) but with all the rights and privileges accorded a minister, comfort the needy and the infirm, attend to your flock in the un hypocritical way you think it should be done.... Never mind same sex marriages, I want to officiate over civil unions between people and upholstered items. I now pronouce you man and ottoman. Take your religion into your own hands! Park your car in places marked...clergy. What a country! God Bless America!

Here's a new update for you guys!!!!!!!!!

Kenny Chesney and Renee Zellwigger's marriage ceremony was performed by a minister of the Universal Life Church.


Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home