'Pay to Play', will you take the cash or what's behind the curtain?
I recently had a conversation with one of my long time friends about hookups. Keeping with the week long theme of hookups I figured it might be appropriate in this series. After his reading about my adventures with phone dating he called me up and relayed this little bit of wisdom. I have yet to try out the theory, but I won't say never.
He has long bittered in the quest for love and romance and says that for that fleeting moment of affection, that nanosecond before you say.....UGGGHHHHHHH oh fuck, okay get out, it is much better to pay for sex and fulfillment than to date, have a relationship, go to dinner, send flowers, meet the parents. But he says it is funny the reactions to offers of 'Pay to Play'.
Now of course that might bring to mind the scandalizing term....prostitution and the stigma it entails not to mention the involvement of......in a group way.....law enforcement officers, so I will not condone this method. I also will not condemn it as it has its fit in societal needs.
If a Str8 man offers a woman money for her....ass-ets, cold hard cash out in the open, it is prostitution and unless she is a working girl she may be offended and blow him off in a non-satisfying way. Unless it is at the least, her part time job.
A girlfriend will definitely soften her opinion of what is distasteful to her if the money is thrown at her in a more subtle way such as converted to the form of a a car, designer bag, coke-minus the rum the gas bubbles and carmel color and the only glass it comes with is the mirror it is laid out on, a short trip to an exotic local, or even common today....expesive but personal enhancement surgeries.
My buddy claims it also works this way with gay men. He told me of one instance where a guy was absolutely indignant that he should be offered money to bare his wares in much the way a chinese buffet is offered up, spread out, all you can eat, hot and fresh. If it had been in person rather than over the phone my friend would have been proudly displaying the war wounds that only an open handed limp wristed indignant salute can create, five fingers cross the cheekbones, red and throbbing. Their anticipated conquest was highly insulted that he be thought of as a prostitute. This was the same man that had propositioned my friend about a matter involving my friends well worn sox and sneakers, a matter of foot massage and oral callus softening. When my friend had said he wanted to orally please the shrimper, do some intimate snorkeling, and the Al Bundy-Shoe Salesman wannabe was not having any part of it, my friend said "hey, I would be willing to toss you a few bucks for your time and effort" and that opened the flood gates, got the whole ball of earwax rolling. So the man that wanted to play shoestore.... and that's okay, takes offense at someone else's fantasy (convenient excuse for being prostitutionally incorrect isn't it?) of Paying to Play.
And my friend added, that is a typical reaction by gay men he has encountered, although many say, 'Oh, you don't have to do that. I am in it for the fun'.
Strangely enough my buddy goes on, "A Str8 guy will not react that way. Either you will get a punch in the teeth, lie bleeding in the gutter, or you will get.......I ain't fuckin queer man. How much did you say?" And from there as long as no one else finds out, an extra day's pay never hurt anyone, saves some poor soul from taking some well appreciated alone time, and saves on Kleenex costs. And depending on the residual guilt, buys a girlfriend- left out of the laborious occasion- a little 'sumtin sumtin' and an extra sore vagina, to prove to themselves they didn't have a good time after all, that work is work.
So in synopsis, my much older and wiser friend has come to these 3 conclusions after years of unexpected trips to the ATM.
Women do not like to be offered money and object to cold hard business negotiations....but gifts are nice, if they think they are not doing it for the gifts, but the potential to bear your children later on in life and get half your retirement pension in a divorce.
Gay men are more offended than women at a pay for play scenario although their expectations are more realistic and hope the relationship lasts at least 20 minutes, free or not.
Str8 men will either, worst case scenario, maim you and make your orthodontist and plastic surgeons ecstatic or, best case scenario, consider it a paid chore much like mowing the lawn, but more like cleaning the pipes, do only the job they are paid for, do not clean up anyone's mess but their own, and put their own tools away.
And always remember my buddy's words to live by:
"The older a man gets.....the more attractive his wallet becomes."
He has long bittered in the quest for love and romance and says that for that fleeting moment of affection, that nanosecond before you say.....UGGGHHHHHHH oh fuck, okay get out, it is much better to pay for sex and fulfillment than to date, have a relationship, go to dinner, send flowers, meet the parents. But he says it is funny the reactions to offers of 'Pay to Play'.
Now of course that might bring to mind the scandalizing term....prostitution and the stigma it entails not to mention the involvement of......in a group way.....law enforcement officers, so I will not condone this method. I also will not condemn it as it has its fit in societal needs.
If a Str8 man offers a woman money for her....ass-ets, cold hard cash out in the open, it is prostitution and unless she is a working girl she may be offended and blow him off in a non-satisfying way. Unless it is at the least, her part time job.
A girlfriend will definitely soften her opinion of what is distasteful to her if the money is thrown at her in a more subtle way such as converted to the form of a a car, designer bag, coke-minus the rum the gas bubbles and carmel color and the only glass it comes with is the mirror it is laid out on, a short trip to an exotic local, or even common today....expesive but personal enhancement surgeries.
My buddy claims it also works this way with gay men. He told me of one instance where a guy was absolutely indignant that he should be offered money to bare his wares in much the way a chinese buffet is offered up, spread out, all you can eat, hot and fresh. If it had been in person rather than over the phone my friend would have been proudly displaying the war wounds that only an open handed limp wristed indignant salute can create, five fingers cross the cheekbones, red and throbbing. Their anticipated conquest was highly insulted that he be thought of as a prostitute. This was the same man that had propositioned my friend about a matter involving my friends well worn sox and sneakers, a matter of foot massage and oral callus softening. When my friend had said he wanted to orally please the shrimper, do some intimate snorkeling, and the Al Bundy-Shoe Salesman wannabe was not having any part of it, my friend said "hey, I would be willing to toss you a few bucks for your time and effort" and that opened the flood gates, got the whole ball of earwax rolling. So the man that wanted to play shoestore.... and that's okay, takes offense at someone else's fantasy (convenient excuse for being prostitutionally incorrect isn't it?) of Paying to Play.
And my friend added, that is a typical reaction by gay men he has encountered, although many say, 'Oh, you don't have to do that. I am in it for the fun'.
Strangely enough my buddy goes on, "A Str8 guy will not react that way. Either you will get a punch in the teeth, lie bleeding in the gutter, or you will get.......I ain't fuckin queer man. How much did you say?" And from there as long as no one else finds out, an extra day's pay never hurt anyone, saves some poor soul from taking some well appreciated alone time, and saves on Kleenex costs. And depending on the residual guilt, buys a girlfriend- left out of the laborious occasion- a little 'sumtin sumtin' and an extra sore vagina, to prove to themselves they didn't have a good time after all, that work is work.
So in synopsis, my much older and wiser friend has come to these 3 conclusions after years of unexpected trips to the ATM.
Women do not like to be offered money and object to cold hard business negotiations....but gifts are nice, if they think they are not doing it for the gifts, but the potential to bear your children later on in life and get half your retirement pension in a divorce.
Gay men are more offended than women at a pay for play scenario although their expectations are more realistic and hope the relationship lasts at least 20 minutes, free or not.
Str8 men will either, worst case scenario, maim you and make your orthodontist and plastic surgeons ecstatic or, best case scenario, consider it a paid chore much like mowing the lawn, but more like cleaning the pipes, do only the job they are paid for, do not clean up anyone's mess but their own, and put their own tools away.
And always remember my buddy's words to live by:
"The older a man gets.....the more attractive his wallet becomes."
posted by Mack Chill Jet at
10:51 AM
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